Top Ten Ways Donald Trump Can Stay out of Jail

1. Start wearing a dress
2. Claim racism against the last standing minority: White males
3. Offer to pay for Jimmy Carter’s funeral
4. Bailout Silicon Valley Bank by renting out his list of Twitter followers
5. Drop the soap and make Ron DeSantis his mate . . . er . . . running mate
6. Tag team with Linda McMahon to wrestle Nancy Pelosi and Diane Feinstein for control of congress
7. Give Bill Clinton Stormy Daniels's phone number
8. Move his wall from the border of Mexico and America to the border of California and everyone else
9. Transfer $3 million to Joe Biden’s checking account via The People’s Bank of China
10. Run for president as a democrat